Let’s Play

It has been far too long. I promise that will be the last time I write that on here. Fortunately, I do have things to say.

Mostly, I’ve been writing for myself. When are you not, you might ask. Well, let’s be more specific: I have been writing in my notebook and none of it has been fiction or poetry. It has been purely for cathartic purposes. Not a shooting up, but a shooting out. If I don’t get a euphoric sparkle or some kind of cleansing, I don’t bother with my scribbling. I throw my pen like a dart at the window.

Book food has been taking up most of my time. Look here for a sample. There is music and movies too. My body wants to consume rather than create. The hunger will pass, and I’ll be back to throwing things up instead. Eat desperately, regurgitate. Repeat.

I got my contributor’s copy of the newest issue of Pear Noir!:

Pear Noir!, Issue 9

Pear Noir!, Issue 9 Contributors

I had a poem in it that I’m still fond of. I always wonder how long that feeling will last. It’s also a poem that my family appreciated. This is a momentous occasion. I’m no longer a teenager, but I always feel like an enigma to them. My mom reminded me of how I’ve taken to using more personal writing as fiction. It’s not real, but she knows where it comes from.

I also received these postcards from some of the writers:

Pear Noir!, Issue 9 Postcards

Over at ReadLearnWrite, I wrote about newer ways we are telling stories. It got me thinking again about how publishing is changing, how our storytelling media are changing, how we are all responding. It can be both exciting and confusing; perhaps the best time to get messy and experiment. Want to make a video game? Go for it! The tools are right there. Want to create a fictional diary through Youtube videos? What’s keeping you?

More experimentation: In just a week, I’ll be flying out of Florida to see my significant other. I’ll be vanishing off the map even more cleanly than usual. Perhaps you don’t know this already, perhaps you do, but I am somewhat of a recluse. I feel like a baby who doesn’t know anything outside the nest. This is new and exciting, but I’m not nervous. I don’t plan on turning my relationship into a character for you to read. This is not my notebook, and I don’t want it to be. My wings are still wet and lack the muscle.

Carousel #17

  1. There is a documentary about writers and what they define as “bad” writing, called Bad Writing. You can watch it here for free for the entire month of January. Give it a watch! Featuring a lot of different writers, including Margaret Atwood and David Sedaris.
  2. Want to know the specific name for practically every group of animals? Have a huge collection of collective nouns. The English language is indeed strange. A charm of hummingbirds, a parliament of rooks, an aurora of polar bears. Got to love it.
  3. Via Paper Darts, here are the most beautiful book covers of 2012. Really gorgeous. I can’t even decide which is my favorite.
  4. Via Flavorwire, the most anticipated books of 2013. Thirty of them, at least. Thirty is enough, as far as I’m concerned! I really wish I could keep up.
  5. The visual history of The Bell Jar‘s book covers: here.
  6. I don’t know how to feel about this quite just yet, but we are going to have our first ever bookless library. Based in Texas, the project is called BiblioTech and is being specifically designed for the digital age.
  7. Exciting book excavations! A man from London found a signed copy of Frankenstein in his grandfather’s library. Apparently it is only the second signed copy known in existence and it went on to sell for more than a half million dollars at auction.
  8. Writers’ Tears, an actual Irish whiskey. Should we be surprised?
  9. What if dead authors were forced to use social media? Here is an idea. I don’t know about you, but I’d be the first to follow Truman Capote on Twitter.
  10. Here are writers reading ten stories by Sherwood Anderson.
  11. Memorable writing I enjoyed reading this week: Girl/Box and Impact Sight and Our Bodies, Possessed by Light.

Preemptive Strike

If you hadn’t noticed already, I’m able to cross off one of my little resolutions from my list: blog makeover. I think it came out nice. New theme, but I decided to bring back the chameleon. I’ve missed my old mascot. I’ve also been devouring several books at once, so I updated what I’ve been reading too.

I’ve finally joined the e-reader generation. I received a Kindle Fire for Christmas. Maybe it will force me to read more of the classics now, seeing as they are so readily available. I already plan on reading as much Virginia Woolf and Edith Wharton as I can. As much as I like having beautiful new books in my hands to touch and smell and hug, this is a nice alternative. I can see why people enjoy both, really. Sometimes, when I can’t fall asleep, I’ll get my Kindle out now and read in the dark until I can.

I have a new story up at the Rose Red Review and you can read it here. It’s called “The Loudest Lullaby,” and it is one of the strangest things I’ve published so far. I was trying to describe it to a friend the other day but stopped trying mid-sentence. I remember saying something like, “a surreal dystopian fairy tale.” I guess we’ll go with that for now. It is about a mother and her child, in a world that is crumbling and suddenly mixing its colors in unexpected ways. Writing is also very important and one of the few things that makes the mother feel safe, but it is against the law.

I also have a poem that I’m oddly proud of, “Dolphin Therapy,” that is going to be in the newest issue of Pear Noir!. Very rarely will I say things are great, but I am really excited about this. You can pre-order your copy here. From what I’ve heard, it is supposedly going to be one of the most interesting issues too.

We’re off to a good start.

2012: The Retrospective

It’s winding down and I can take a breath. Unlike the past few years, I feel like I’ve charted out some kind of evolution through what I’ve collected. I feel as though there has been more progress than paralysis. I’ve gotten better and bolder. I’ve grown more confident in my words, to the point of where I could allow myself to submit them to magazines for the first time. I learned about the process of waiting and the subsequent sting of rejection, but I didn’t let that deter me. I kept at it until I found good homes. I’ve published short fiction, reviews, essays, and poetry – both online and in print. Some bookstores in Austin have a poem of mine on the bookshelves. And I still have more writing forthcoming in other places after the new year rolls around.

I addressed my issues with crippling anxiety and sadness, which is hard if you’ve become so used to a cycle. The help I received loosened the tightness in my chest and gave me the space I needed for myself.  There was less static and it allowed me to ease into my own skin, slowly. I didn’t know things could move forward. I reached out and made new friends. I talked to more writers and people who were interested in what I was doing. I found myself stepping outside and not being as afraid to see what might happen.

Usually my New Year’s resolution is to simply not have any resolutions (in fact, you can read about last year’s retrospective here, in which I bring this exact thing up) because they are usually silly or unrealistic, but I’m going to break that tradition for this upcoming year. Instead, I’m going to try to think of it as just another one of those short-term lists in order to keep my head together. It is not so hard and not so unreasonable.

Goals:

  • Read more books than I read in 2012
  • Publish more writing than I published in 2012
  • Try out internet book trading via something like Paperbackswap, which seems fun
  • Start a new online literary magazine, inspired by places like >kill author and PANK
  • Become a Goodreads author and/or librarian
  • Maybe get a very small tattoo, if I can finally decide on something
  • Move more, before my muscles completely atrophy
  • Update this blog with a snazzy new theme
  • Find a better near-future amidst the economic uncertainty of the far-future

And now, this year’s collection.

Metropolis Night by Jacklyn Laflamme

Books:

I Kill Giants by Joe Kelly and J.M. Ken Niimura
Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? by Edward Albee
Demian by Hermann Hesse
Mysterious Skin by Scott Heim
Zazen by Vanessa Veselka
The Writing of Fiction by Edith Wharton
The Dream of a Common Language by Adrienne Rich
If on a winter’s night a traveler by Italo Calvino
4.48 Psychosis by Sarah Kane
Einstein’s Dreams by Alan Lightman

Films:

Barton Fink
Leon: the Professional
Masculin, Feminin
Une Femme est une Femme
Mary and Max
Amarcord
8 1/2
Melancholia
Public Speaking
All About Eve
Citizen Kane
Kiki’s Delivery Service
Brave
Norwegian Wood
Grey Gardens
Shame
Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?
The Secret World of Arrietty
The Borrowers
The Hunger Games
Misery
The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Submarine
Paradise Now
We Need to Talk About Kevin
Clueless
Moonrise Kingdom

Music:

“Oblivion” and “Genesis” by Grimes
“Every Single Night” by Fiona Apple
“Teen Idle” and “Oh No” by Marina and the Diamonds
“Soft as Chalk” by Joanna Newsom
“Catgroove” and “Booty Swing” by Parov Stelar
“Je Veux” by Zaz
“24” by Jem
“Air War” by Crystal Castles
“Strict Machine” by Goldfrapp
“Obedear” by Purity Ring
“Old Friend” by Sea Wolf
“Gallows” by CocoRosie
“These Days” by Nico
“Turn the Wolves” and “Halo” by Lotte Kestner
“Rid of Me” by PJ Harvey
“Human Behaviour” by Bjork
“Into Black” by Blouse
“Sunshine” by Little Dragon

Misc.:

750words
Duotrope and Submittable
My 8tracks, always
Going back to paper and letters and writing in little brown notebooks
90s reminiscing: point-and-click adventure games, Roller Coaster Tycoon, Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?, Sakura Gelly Roll pens
Pumpkin pancakes
Anxiety workbooks
Nathaniel Branden’s “scandalous” relationship with Ayn Rand
Watching Divorce Court after school with my sister
Writing Spaces
Bright Wall, Dark Room
ReadLearnWrite
Underground NY Public Library
Kickstarter indie projects
Feminism, gaming culture, and Anita Sarkeesian
The Prisoner

Happened Before It’s Happening

We’ve already had our tree and house fully decorated since last week. Our Christmas shopping seems nearly finished. This year has happened before it’s happening. An internet god must have clawed his way out and deleted November from real life too somehow.

I’ve noticed a lot of bloggers and websites composing their “best of” lists already. I think I will wait a bit for that. I’ll probably do like I did last year and combine books with movies and music and other memorable things. We will see. To be honest, I may not have that many books to list simply because this year has been a much more fruitful year in regards to my writing instead.

Speaking of which, I received my contributor’s copy of Foxing Quarterly. You can now order a copy for yourself here. It features comics, photography, fiction, and poetry. It’s all in full color and it’s gorgeous. Well worth the price. You should also read Jim Rugg’s blog about the art in the issue, which includes some of the designs included and some unused logo ideas.

I also had a short story published in Literary Orphans. It’s dark and moody and features misfits who find each other. It’s also loosely inspired by science fiction books that are more soft with the science part. Mainly things that William Gibson would write. Also a club in Miami that I went to. The character Yukimi is named after the lead singer from the band Little Dragon. Of course, fictional Yukimi is nothing like her and I never got to meet the real one, just in case you were wondering.

Although I haven’t been reading many novels lately, I have been reading a lot of lit journals. I updated my reading section if you want to see what exactly I’ve been making my way through.