If we applied the Goodreads rating system to years, this one was a solid 2 out of 5 stars. Not especially great, I must say. There were moments of reprieve, but a lot of frustration, stress, disruption, and existential crises. A lot of: why am I doing this? Why are WE doing this? Why are we here?
Outside of, you know, everything (gesturing at the country, the world; so many have written about so much this year that it’s exhausting), teaching in particular was quite a challenge due to the rampant use of AI by students. If you aren’t aware, in higher education, AI use has gotten much worse and is massively underreported, and professors have really had to reevaluate how they teach, particularly when it comes to writing instruction. Some choose to ignore what is happening for the sake of their own mental wellbeing, while others seem to be going full Luddite, where all writing is done with a pen and paper in the classroom, blue books, and/or requiring oral defenses. We are so desperate to just get students to do their own work, to come up with an original thought of their own. When I see a student actually writing about something they care about in their own words, I could cry out of sheer delight and relief. This is where we’re at now. I have stressed in the past how I cannot help them become better writers and more nuanced critical thinkers if it isn’t their own work, but this simply isn’t enough. I’ve considered what I’m going to do moving forward and currently will be implementing more in-class writing and peer reviews during the drafting process. It’s not ideal, but I do think students need to be capable of writing independently outside of the classroom as well. I’m a writer, and all the best writing I’ve done has happened outside of the classroom, in my own time, with some kind of feedback involved.
“Slop” was declared the word of the year by Merriam-Webster, which I think encapsulates everything really well. Outside of writing, we have to be extra vigilant with what we are seeing and consuming online now, as more content becomes AI produced. I remember growing up in the nineties and being very excited about the advent of the internet, how everything was opening up and expanding in terms of creativity and expression, how we suddenly had access to even the most esoteric information at our fingertips, how introverts like me could more easily connect with each other and find/found communities around their strange, niche hobbies. This age we’re living in now feels like the exact opposite of that. It’s not democratizing, it’s homogenizing. Not very punk at all.
In addition to these new challenges we face as educators and humans, I’ve had to juggle another new role: coordinating learning assistants in the first-year composition classes and at the writing center at my university. As part of this, I attended the ILAC conference at the University of Colorado and co-presented with some colleagues on how learning assistants can help with peer review and building a writer’s confidence in the classroom. This was a bright spot in the year, as it was very motivating and encouraging to be around hundreds of instructors from around the world who also care about what you care about, listening to and learning from their own challenges and how they have faced them at their own institutions, how we can better serve our students with these additional resources. The conference took place in November, so I briefly got to experience fall as a season–surrounded by the mountains, the cool wind nipping your cheeks, the yellow and red leaves falling off the trees, the bikers yelling at you to stay out of the bike lane or be run over.
During the summer, in a more quiet heat, there was a memorial for my husband’s stepmother. We traveled to Texas to attend it. As I listened to the tributes given by the family, I was reminded of Victoria Chang’s Obit, where the author, when contending with the death of her parents, notes how grief moves, how memory “gets up […] and starts walking.” It’s been a few years since my Nana passed away, but I feel this sometimes in moments. Something will unhook or unlatch as I move through the day, and she is here again. She is here still, even when she isn’t.
This year was also challenging due to the worsening of my chronic intestinal issues, which have been confusing and disruptive. My relationship to food, which used to be somewhat indifferent, has become more contentious, as I don’t know which foods that I put in my body will end up giving me intestinal issues. I haven’t been able to figure out a consistent pattern to anything. I’ve gone to the gastrologist and have tried many different approaches, medications, antibiotics and probiotics. I know I should exercise more (who shouldn’t?), but I have low energy and have always hated moving and sweating. Please don’t make me.
As you will notice below, I largely read poetry and nonfiction this year, which makes sense, as I’ve been working on my own collection of poetry. I have a new poem, a haibun, that will be published in the upcoming issue of Hayden’s Ferry Review. I listened to many podcasts and some audiobooks, which helped with my long commute to work. I played a good variety of video games, many of which probably fall under either the “cozy” or “puzzle” category. Some visual novels, some fighting, and some cooperative games I played with my sister. Not many RPGs, although I definitely have a backlog that I should tackle in the upcoming year. Not a lot of new music. I didn’t really watch movies at all.
I am hoping next year is more stable. Softer. During this winter break, I’ve been reminded how nourishing the act of reading is. I don’t do much of it for pleasure during the semesters, as I much prefer sleeping and turning off my brain. I need to submit my poetry more often, more widely. I need to apply the hydra strategy: for every rejection received, you submit to two more journals in its place. If you’re annoying, you can make more things happen.
Media and Art that Defined My Year
Poetry:
Love Prodigal by Traci Brimhall
Deed by torrin a. greathouse
Crush by Richard Siken (reread)
Love Is a Dangerous Word by Essex Hemphill
Song of My Softening by Omotara James
Punks by John Keene
Modern Poetry by Diane Seuss
Trophic Cascade by Camille Dungy
My Alexandria by Mark Doty
If They Come for Us by Fatimah Asghar
The Virginia State Colony for Epileptics and Feebleminded by Molly McCully Brown
Nonfiction:
Teaching Critical Thinking by bell hooks
Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come by Jessica Pan
Quietly Hostile by Samantha Irby
High School by Tegan and Sara Quin
I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy
The Backyard Bird Chronicles by Amy Tan
My Meteorite by Harry Dodge
Like Love: Essays and Conversations by Maggie Nelson
Poets Square: A Memoir in Thirty Cats by Courtney Gustafson
The Two Kinds of Decay by Sarah Manguso
Fiction:
The Emperor of Gladness by Ocean Vuong
Lie with Me and In the Absence of Men by Philippe Besson
Willful Creatures by Aimee Bender
Nimona by N.D. Stevenson
TV Series:
Abbott Elementary
The Great British Baking Show
Broad City
Hacks
Big Boys
Superstore (rewatch)
The Man on the Inside
The Prisoner
Stranger Things
Video Games:
Infinity Nikki
Arcade Spirits: New Challengers
Hello Kitty Island Adventure
Pokémon Trading Card Game Pocket
Lego Horizon Adventures
Marvel vs. Capcom Fighting Collection and Capcom Fighting Collection 2
Them’s Fighting Herds
Bugsnax
Carmen Sandiego
Coffee Talk and Coffee Talk, Episode 2: Hibiscus and Butterfly
Astro’s Playroom and Astro Bot
Blue Prince
Breath of Fire II
Rune Factory: Guardians of Azuma
Trash Goblin
Date Everything!
Tiny Bookshop
Klonoa: Empire of Dreams
Story of Seasons: Grand Bazaar
Final Fantasy Tactics: the Ivalice Chronicles
Beacon Pines
Once Upon a Katamari
Kingdoms of the Dump
Marvel Cosmic Invasion
Music:
Ego Death at a Bachelorette Party by Hayley Williams
The Gods We Can Touch by Aurora
From the Pyre by the Last Dinner Party
Supernature by Goldfrapp
“Children of the Corn” and “In Der Palastra” by Sopor Aeternus and the Ensemble of Shadows
Podcasts:
A Bit Fruity w/ Matt Bernstein (pop culture, internet, politics)
Square Roots (gaming)
RPG Cast (gaming)
Bad Art (politics, art)
404 Media Podcast (technology, internet)
Between the Covers w/ David Naimon (books, writers)
